你們學校實施過的最愚蠢的校規是什么？
What''s the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
譯文簡介
有些很有趣，有些對低血壓很有幫助。
正文翻譯
What's the dumbest rule your school ever enforced?
你們學校實施過的最愚蠢的校規是什么？
評論翻譯
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If you throw snowballs, you get a one day suspension. The first long weekend after a snowfall everyone would throw snowballs to get an additional day added to the long weekend.
你要是扔雪球，你就要停課一天。在下雪之后的第一個長周末，每個人都會互相扔雪球，好給長周末再加一天。
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I love democracy.
我愛民主。
This is the most galaxy brain strategy in history
這可能是歷史上最銀河級大腦的戰術。
The new Principal made a "morning round-up" rule where anyone arriving to class after the last bell had to go to the cafeteria and listen to a lecture about not being late for class. This took about an extra 15 minutes, making the students even more late to class than they would have otherwise been. Needless to say, everyone hated it, even the teachers. That principal didn't last long...
我們的新校長搞了一個“早課圓桌”校規，每個在最后一遍鈴響過之后才進班級的人都要去食堂聽一次講座，主題是不要遲到。這種講座大概要花15分鐘，于是學生到頭來進教室更晚了。用不著說，每個人都討厭這條校規，甚至老師也討厭。這個校長沒在位子上待多久……
This is similar to mine, except we had to stand still and Stare at a wall and not move, otherwise we would get yelled at and receive more punishment.
和我們的差不多，但我們得立正，對著墻，不能動，要不然就會被吼，并且被懲罰得更厲害。
Elementary school principal banned talking at lunch. If you were caught talking or even signing to someone, you had to go sit by yourself on a folding chair with no table.
小學校長禁止了在午餐時吃飯。假如你跟誰說話，甚至跟誰打手勢，你都得去自己坐一張沒有桌子的折疊椅。
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于是有一次我媽媽來和我姐姐和我一起吃午餐。校長的意思是“你應該和你的女兒們出去在走廊里吃”，我媽的意思是“不，我要在這兒坐著，跟我的女兒們與她們的朋友么一邊吃飯一邊聊天，享受他們的陪伴”（通常來說假如父母來吃午餐的話，學生可以邀請一個朋友一起吃，除非你有兄弟姐妹，那樣的話人就太多了，你就不能邀請朋友了）。于是我姐姐的一個朋友對我媽媽悄悄說，她不和我們一起吃了，要不然會因為說話被抓的。這是個九歲的孩子。
My elementary school had those super long tables with little stools attached. Whenever a class got in trouble for being too loud during lunch, the punishment was that we had to sit every other seat. Even at like 7 years old I was like “won’t we just have to talk louder to hear each other if we’re farther away?”
我的小學有那種超級長的餐桌，兩邊連著小凳子。假如哪個班級吃飯的時候太喧嘩，對他們的懲罰就是隔一個凳子坐。就算那時的我剛7歲，我也在想“那我們要是隔得更遠了，只要說話的聲音再大點不就行了嗎？”
Toilet paper rationing. This was in 1997/98, btw. Apparently the high school girls room was going through too much toilet paper so the dean, a woman, stood outside the door and distributed a few squares of 1-ply institutional toilet paper to us as we went in. If she noticed toilet paper on the floor, our ration got cut down. If we asked for more for...bigger jobs...we were told to saved it for home.
廁紙配額。順便，這是在1997/98年。顯然高中的女廁所用廁紙太厲害了，所以校長，一個女性，親自站在廁所門口，在我們進去的時候給我們發幾張單層的廁紙。假如她發現有廁紙掉到地上，我們的配額就會被砍。假如我們為了…大手…要更多的廁紙，她就告訴我們回家拉去。
有幾次有女生因為月經量太大，或者胃腸突然不舒服，而被困在洗手間里，直到她的朋友可以給她求更多的廁紙。校長甚至都不會直接給她——校長會走進洗手間里，從門的頂上每次扔幾張進去。假如你沒抓住，紙落到了地上，好吧，那就是你的錯，你不可能再拿到更多廁紙了。假如你用的廁紙比她所認為必要的多了一些，那你運氣不太好，身上沾著血/屎回班級吧。
過了大概一星期，不斷有極端憤怒的家長來到學校給校方和校董打電話，于是我們終于有無限量的廁紙用了。
我們是怎么慶祝的？
當然是往她的車上糊廁紙。
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...Did they not stop to think about why teenage girls specifically were going through that amount of toilet paper?
他們有沒有想過為什么青少年的女生要用這么大量的廁紙？
I was sent to the principle in elementary school for getting a drink of water out of line (as in we walked down the hall in a formation and we had designated water drinking stops). To this day I still remember the principal asking angrily well what if every one started getting water without permission? And I still don’t have an answer.
我小學的時候被送到校長辦公室，因為我走出隊列去接水（我們排著隊沿走廊走，旁邊有用來接水的地方）。到今天我仍然記得校長生氣的問我好啊要是每個人都不經許可地喝水該怎么辦？我今天也想不出來答案。
We’ll all. . . be hydrated?
我們都會……喝得飽飽的？
After 9/11, my school instituted a zero tolerance policy on bullying and violence. What 9/11 had to do with bullying, I don't know. Anyways, Halloween 2001, I dressed up as the guy from Clockwork Orange. He carries a cane around. The principle pulled me aside, told me walking around with a cane could be a weapon, therefore just walking with it is an act of violence, and suspended me for a couple of days, telling me that after 9/11, "we don't mess around with that kind of stuff".
在911之后，我們學校搞了個針對霸凌和暴力零容忍政策。911和霸凌之間有什么關系，我是不知道的。不論如何，在2001年的萬圣節，我打扮成了發條橙里的一個人。他拿著一根手杖到處走。校長把我拽到一邊，告訴我手杖可能算是武器，因此拿著它到處走算是暴力，于是給我停了好幾天的課，還告訴我在911之后“我們不拿那種東西到處惹事兒”。
That if you say/do anything back to your bully it becomes a mutual conflict and isn't bullying, so if they start calling you slurs and making you feel bad every day and you call them stupid once or twice the school probably won't help. Also dress code required school branded hoodies... they were 50 dollars. If you wore a non school hoodie you got in school suspension
假如你對霸凌你的人說或者做任何事情來反擊，這就不算是霸凌而算是雙方沖突，所以假如他們天天都用臟話罵你，讓你覺得很糟糕，而你只有一兩次說他們是蠢貨的話，學校八成是不會幫你的。還有，著裝規定要求只能穿學校品牌的連帽衫……50美元一件。假如你穿了非學校品牌的連帽衫，你就要被停課。
It wasn't really the rule that was dumb but the reason for it. In my last year of high school, the school issued a rule that all students had to wear student IDs. If you didn't, you had to immediately go and pay for another ID. While you can see how many students may have saw this a way to skip class, the reason for this was the school shootings that happened the previous year.
倒不算是校規本身很蠢，而是背后的原因很蠢。我讀高中的最后一年，學校規定所有學生都得佩戴學生卡。假如你沒帶，你就得立刻去花錢辦一張新的。你顯然能意識到有多少學生可以通過這條校規翹課，但校規背后的原因其實是去年發生的校園槍擊案。
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理由是只要佩戴學生卡，就能更簡單地識別出誰是學生，誰不是學生，誰有危險的企圖了……只不過絕大多數槍擊者自己就是學生……所以……
AHAHA... My school did this my junior year! Because a 60 something fucking something year old man drunk off his ass with a knife came onto campus and sat down in a class.
啊哈哈…我的學校在我二年級的時候做了這種事！因為有個六十多歲的老逼登喝懵逼了，拿著刀走進校園坐到了教室里。
顯然，學生卡是區分高中生和老醉鬼的唯一方法。他走進了學校，因為大門保安沒有好好工作，但同一位保安每天都他媽的在那里教育我要像一個“友善的女性”那樣微笑。
這個政策給我帶來的唯一影響就是經常趕不上校車。
my school had 3 staircases along a very ling corridor. we were banned from using the middle staircase because it got overcrowded. the ban was lifted once they realised it only made the other two staircases just as crowded
我的學校在一條很長的走廊中間有三個樓梯間。他們不讓我們用中間的樓梯間，因為會堵。在他們意識到這條校規讓兩邊的樓梯間也變得一樣堵之后，這條校規就被廢除了。
Playing cards at lunch was prohibited because it "promoted gambling".
午餐時間玩牌被禁止了，因為“提倡賭博”。
Had the same rule. Most teachers didn’t enforce it unless you were actually gambling.
我們也一樣。但老師基本都不會管，除非你真的在賭博。
Banned all backpacks / bags on campus. Students were expected to somehow carry everything they needed in hand.
在校園內禁止所有背包和袋子。他們希望學生們用手拿所有需要的東西。
假如你的書包柜位置不理想的話，尤其有挑戰性。
Ours did this too because "in college they won't let you carry your bags everywhere!" Fucking liars. College professors don't give a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
我們也搞這種規定，因為“等你上了大學，他們不讓你們背著包到處走！”他媽的騙子。大學老師根本不管——————。
Bruh. You can show up to college in pajamas and they won’t even blx or ask a question but they think they wouldn’t allow backpacks.
是吧。你甚至可以穿著睡衣去上課，他們連多眨一下眼睛都不會，也不會問你，但那幫人卻以為他們不讓你們背書包。
My first semester of college, two students showed up to a final in those plastic T-rex costumes. No one gave a crap. I've even seen a guy going around on an armchair attached to an electric skateboard.
我大學的頭一個學期，有兩個學生穿著塑料的霸王龍玩偶服去考試。根本沒人管。我甚至看到有個老哥坐在一個電動滑板驅動的輪椅里到處逛。（譯注：你們需要平衡車）
We had two students rig up a motorized couch recently. Made big news when the police pulled them over because it wasn’t street legal.
我們有兩個學生最近搞了個電動沙發。警察叫他們靠邊停車，因為不能上街，于是搞了個大新聞。
大學校長去體育場參加畢業典禮的時候還坐了一趟。
We once had a rule that we could only go to the bathromm during class. Not in the breaks. Only during class.
我們曾經有個校規，規定我們只能在上課的時候去洗手間。課間不能去。只有上課的時候才能去。
My friend is an administrator at a private school in NJ and the faculty has to sign in and out of the bathroom using Google sheets.
我有個朋友是新澤西州某個私立學校的行政人員，他們的教職工要用谷歌表單登記學生進出廁所的情況。
上午九點，10分鐘，M-F
Can’t be standing around in groups more than 4 “gang mentality”
不能四個人以上站在一起，“幫派心理”（譯注：黨支部了解一下）
My gang of 4 found that policy very convenient.
我們幫派正好4個人，你們這個校規很舒適。
Locked the only boys bathroom because someone wrote on the wall in sharpie. It wasn't even anything rude or inappropriate either. It was just the word "hi" or something like that.
把唯一的男洗手間鎖上了，因為有人用馬克筆在墻上寫字。甚至都不是什么粗魯的或者不適當的東西。只是“嗨！”之類的
門一直都沒開，直到有個男孩尿褲子了，他的家長威脅要打官司。
That kid really sacrificed himself for everyone else.
那個孩子真的為了所有人犧牲了自己。
They did that at my school, but because someone was shitting on the floor and smearing it everywhere.
他們在我的學校也搞了這種事情，但那是因為有人在地板上拉了屎并且抹得到處都是。
Lol we had several morning announcements telling people to stop doing that. I honestly don’t understand
哈哈哈我們有好幾次早晨校會告訴學生們別干這種事，我真的不是很理解
You have to wear your tie all the way home. Some sad bastard teachers would stand on the main road away from the school and try to hand out detentions in presumably their own time
你一路回家都得系著領帶。有些施虐癖的混蛋老師會站在離學校很遠的主干路上用他們自己的時間給學生關小黑屋。
I had sad teachers that would stand at the (public, not school owned park) and tell kids not to play on it and to go straight home. Who gets mad at kids for playing at a park???
我也有老師會站在（公立的，不是學校自己的）公園里告訴孩子們別在公園里玩趕緊回家。誰會因為孩子在公園里玩而生氣??？
We weren’t allowed to wear thongs. I don’t know how they caught people who did tbh
我們不允許穿丁字褲。說實話我不知道他們是怎么抓住那些穿了的人的。
For a while it was a fad to leave them purposefully visible under low rise jeans
有一陣子故意穿低腰牛仔褲把丁字褲露出來挺時尚的
Not really a rule, but the toilet paper Holders are OUTSIDE of the Stalls on a wall. So you have to calculate before taking a shit how much you need and hope that it was enough
并不算是校規，但廁紙架在隔間外頭的墻上。所以你拉屎之前得先計算自己要用多少紙，并且希望夠用。
Awful! And impossible.
好惡心！并且也不太可能啊。
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No, it's easy. The answer is the entire roll.
不，很簡單。答案是一整卷兒。
Dumbest Rule: Zero tolerance for fighting. This meant both the kid who started the fight AND the kid who got beat on were both suspended. If the kid who got beat on just took it, he was just sent home for the rest of the day. If he dared to fight back, he was suspended for a week just like the kid who started the fight. Here's the truly stupid part: The school administrators couldn't explain how this led to MORE BRUTAL fights.
最愚蠢的校規：打架零容忍。這意味著挑起爭端的孩子以及挨打的孩子都要停課。假如那個孩子只是悶聲挨打，接下來這一天他就被送回家了。但假如他敢還手，他就會和那個挑事兒的孩子一樣被停課一周。最蠢的是：學校管理者解釋不了這為什么會導致更加激烈的沖突。
It's stupid. I got bullied a lot and almost got suspended because I was "making trouble" and "getting into fights". Why are you punishing me for getting bullied? Like I legit was minding my own business and people started harassing and beating me and I literally didn't fight back.
這確實蠢。我以前經常被欺負，并且幾乎被停課了，因為我在“惹麻煩”，“卷入打架”。為什么你們要因為我被人欺負而懲罰我？我真的是在自己管好自己的事情，然后人們開始騷擾我，打我，我也真的沒還手。
他媽的我現在想起來還會生氣。還會因為她對我父親說謊，說我是那個挑事兒的人而生氣，然后他就開始打我。她就知道會發生這種展開，你都能看見她看我的時候那種惡心的臉色。為什么？憑什么？我被同學欺負還不夠嗎？操他媽的。
狗屎學校。
Right. They never want to help you when you’re bullied because “you should learn to stand up for yourself” but when you actually do after nothing else helps you’re the problem. Excuse me, but what exactly did you want me to do to “stand up for myself”? Sit down with the bullies and tell them “please don’t do it to me because it hurts me or my feelings”? Yea, like that’s gonna help
沒錯。你被欺負的時候他們從來都沒想過幫你的忙，因為“你得學會自己靠自己”，但是發現沒人幫你的時候你還手卻成了你自己的問題。不好意思，“自己靠自己”究竟是什么意思？跟霸凌者坐下來，告訴他們“請不要對我做這種事情，因為會讓我或者我的心情受傷”？可不嘛，好像有用似的。
Dildos were banned. The school never thought they would have to print those words. You would think it was a given. Until a senior bought 100 dildos and snuck them around the school every day for 2 weeks straight
學校里不讓帶假屌。這所學校從來都沒想過他們有一天會打印這幾個字。你會覺得不可能有人干這種事。直到有個高三的買了100根假屌，每天把它們貼到學校的各個角落，貼了兩周。
When I was in Junior school (UK boarding school in the 80's), we were not allowed to say OK as it was considered slang and not befitting the young ladies and gentleman that we should aspire to be.
我在小學的時候（英國80年代的寄宿學校），學校不讓我們說OK，因為他們認為這是俚語，不匹配我們應該向往成為的那種年輕的女士和紳士
我們隨身帶著梳子和手絹。
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除此之外，我們也不能把手放進口袋里，因為“看起來很邋遢”。
What Victorian boarding school did you go to??
你去的是哪所維多利亞寄宿學校？？
No shit, for some reason I immediately picture this school having harpsichord as a mandatory class
不說別的，我立刻就腦補出了這所學校把羽管鍵琴當成必修課的場景。
My British MIL used to flip out if I said the word “sure” because she considered it to be extremely rude. She has chilled out since somewhat, but still comes down hard on my children if they say “sure”. Is this common in the UK? My children are extremely polite and always say their pleases and thank you’s, but heaven forbid if they use the word “sure”.
我英國的岳母在我說“肯定的”的時候會生氣，因為她覺得這個詞非常粗魯。此后她反應沒那么大了，但在我的孩子說“肯定的”的時候還是會很嚴厲的指責。這種事在英國很常見嗎？我的孩子們都特別有禮貌，每次都會說請和謝謝，但說“肯定的”卻不行。
Not OP but “OK” was also considered sloppy and unbecoming speech in the environment I grew up in. So was saying “sure” when “certainly” or “indeed” should be used, depending on context. We weren’t allowed to say “kids” to mean “children”. Towards the end of my education we had a teacher who forbade the use of the word “scared” in papers or exams, as she considered it unseemly to use this adjective to describe the motivations of characters in Classical (Ancient Greek or Latin) literature; we had to use the words “frightened” “fearful” or “apprehensive”.
我不是樓主，但“ok”在我成長的環境里也被認為是粗俗的，不合適的語言。在應該講“當然”或“一定”的時候說“肯定的”也不行，取決于語境。我們不能用“孩子”來指“兒童”。在我的教育階段的末尾，我們有一個老師不允許我們答題的時候寫“害怕”，因為她認為在古典（古希臘或拉丁語）文學中用這個詞來形容角色的動機是不妥當的；我們得用“驚恐”，“恐懼”或是“疑懼”。
（譯注：很難翻譯出原文中細微的區分，反正意識到英國人逼事兒多就完事兒了。）
哦對雙手插袋也絕對不行，和樓主一樣。樓道或者樓梯間里吹口哨會讓你被留校，因為這算是最粗魯、最不妥帖的行為。
Girls shorts or skirts could not be higher from their knee than the length of a dollar bill. Specifically this. The vice principal would measure her. Her last name was Patton.
女孩的短褲或短裙不能比膝蓋高一張一美元紙鈔長邊的長度。非常細致。副校長會親自測量。她姓巴頓。
我們都叫她巴頓將軍。
這個故事最棒的一點在15年后，去年我發現她和一個學生有性關系。真的嗎，將軍？
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No hot drinks. Rumour said it was because the principal burnt himself while drinking something so he banned it
不讓喝熱飲。有傳聞說是因為校長自己喝什么東西的時候燙著了，于是就禁了。
Lmao if that is true is the stupidest thing I have ever heard
笑死我了這要是真的那就是我聽過的最蠢的事了。
"No fighting", enforced by punishing the kids who were getting hit.
“不許打架”，執行的方式是懲罰那些被別人打的孩子。
I've heard about this one. Totally awful. There's no reason an innocent kid should get punished for being picked on.
我聽說過這一條。太糟糕了。無辜的孩子被別人挑事兒還要接受懲罰，完全沒有原因。
And it's all about protecting the school and its "image" at the expense of the kids. They don't want to acknowledge that kids are being bullied because that would mean they have a problem and therefore need to do something about it, so they just suspend everyone for "fighting". Bonus points in that it keeps kids who are being bullied from reporting it thereby making their stats look good on paper. Imagine the outrage if they had a similar policy for sexual assault?
這都是以孩子們為代價，保護學校和學校的“形象”。他們可不想承認學校里的孩子被人欺負，因為那就意味著這所學校有問題，他們得做出行動，所以他們就以“打架”為由處理所有人。此外更棒的是這還能讓被人欺負的孩子不敢報告，從而讓紙面上的數據看起來更好看。想象一下假如在性騷擾上也有類似政策的話，公眾會憤怒成什么樣子？
Yep I literally was walking down the hall in junior high, minding my own business and some guy (who I now suspect had some mental health issues and/or abuse at home) just laid into me with a series of punches for no reason.
沒錯，我上初中的時候在沿著走廊走路，做著我自己的事，然后有個人（我現在懷疑他可能有心理健康問題或者在家里受到了虐待）直接走到我面前打了我好幾拳。
老師在我反應過來之前把我拉走了。想象一下當我發現自己也被停課的時候有多驚訝，我除了挨打之外什么都沒做。我都不理解這教給孩子什么道理。幸運的是我爸爸也覺得這種校規就是垃圾，他來學校接我回家，跟我說“就當你今天放一天假，你應得的”。
Super common. This was a thing at my middle school, too. Mind you this was the late 90s and in rural north Florida. It's all about protecting the school from law suits. I'm not entirely sure how that's supposed to work as I'm not a lawyer, but that's the idea.
非常正常。我的中學也發生過這種事。那是在90年代末，佛羅里達北部的鄉下。都是為了不讓學校被告。我倒不太確定有沒有用，因為我不是律師，但意思是這個意思。
Came here to say this. The "zero tolerance" policy is insane. Imagine this was applied to the real world.
就是來說這個的?！傲闳萑獭闭呔褪怯胁?。想象一下這種校規放到現實世界。
哦，你丈夫打你啦？你倆都進監獄樂呵幾年吧。
什么？大規模槍擊案崩了12個人？我們得擴建監獄咯！
在小巷子里被人捅了？愛信不信，進監獄吧~
I got detention for pooping more then 10 minutes but I have serve stomach cramps and I asked why and they had no answer.
我由于拉屎超過10分鐘被留校了，但我的胃腸有嚴重的問題，我問他們為什么，他們回答不上來。
No farting in class.
上課不許放屁。
他們說“假如你要放屁，去廁所放”，但你要是想去廁所，十次里有九次他們都不會讓。
Conservative Christian College. A group of us played Age of Empires one weekend. They didn’t like it and called a meeting. Everyone involved got misdemeanors on their records. There was nothing in the handbook about it being against the rules. The only person that didn’t get any punishment was the son of the president even though he was just as involved as the rest of us. Was quite interesting explaining the write up on my record when I transferred. “You got a misdemeanor for what?!”
保守派的基督教大學。我們幾個人周末玩帝國時代。他們不太喜歡，叫我們去喝茶。每個人的檔案上都被記過了。學校手冊里根本沒有相關的規定。唯一沒有受到任何處罰的是校長的兒子，即便他和我們一樣參與了。轉校的時候跟別人解釋檔案里的這件事還挺有意思的?！澳惚挥涍^的原因是啥？！”
Next time play DOOM. If they say shit then just argue that DOOM is the most Christian game to exist
下次玩毀滅戰士吧。他們要是逼逼，你就說毀滅戰士是世界上最基督教的游戲。
Yup. DOOM and Diablo are massively Christian - fucking up the spawns of Hell and Satan himself are something God would approve of
沒錯。毀滅戰士和暗黑破壞神太基督教了——把一群地獄的怪物和撒旦本身干出屎來絕對是上帝會允許的事情。
Closing boys toilets, because some cunt was stealing toilet paper. When school staff announced this stupid rule, some students actually threatned to shit on the tables then.
關停男生廁所，因為有人偷廁紙。校方宣布這條規定的時候，有學生威脅他們說要在課桌上拉屎。
My school made it compulsory to wear uniform in online classes
我的學校強制我們上網課的時候穿校服。
All mine said was wear clothes
我們說穿衣服就行
I wasn’t allowed to test my blood sugar in class (type 1 diabetic). Some teachers didn’t care but most made a fuss about it. “Go to the nurses office if you need to do that, it’s a distraction to everybody and other students might get freaked out by the needles” even though it was just a little prick that nobody could ever even see, and none of my classmates ever complained.
他們不讓我在班級里測血糖（一型糖尿?。?。有的老師不在乎，但絕大多數都跟我搞事?！凹偃缒阈枰脑捜メt務室，這樣會讓別人分心，并且其他學生可能會被針頭嚇到”，但針頭別人都看不見，并且根本沒有同學跟我抱怨。
跟我家長說了這個規矩，我爸爸很生氣，告訴我啥都別管就是干，我根本沒有需要擔心的，后果頂多和在家惹事一樣。所以這對我來說，意思就是我可以在學校愛他媽怎么扎怎么扎了。我每堂課都測一遍，比我需要的次數還多，就是為了氣他們。最后我被送到了辦公室，校長給我爸打了電話，我幾乎從來沒見過他像那天一樣生氣過。他在罵人，在大喊，在從墻上撕紙。
我從此之后再也沒因為這件事被別人煩過。
My primary school had this wierd obsession with safety. When we played dodgeball the boys had to throw with their non-dominant hand while the girls got to throw full force. And we could get detention for going where the teachers couldn't see us. But the worst rule by far was that we weren't allowed to run on the playground, I'll never forget the time my teacher literally said, "the playground is no place to run."
我的小學對安全有一種詭異的執念。我們玩躲避球的時候，男生只能用非慣用手扔球，而女生可以全力扔。要是去老師看不見的地方，我們會被留堂。一直很喜歡老師的一句話，“操場不是給你們跑的地方”。
"Don't damage school property" sounds reasonable enough until you get detention for staining a chair after suddenly getting your period.
“不許損壞學校財產”，聽起來很合理，除非你因為突然來月經把椅子弄臟而被留堂。
Omg that’s similar to my story, same grade too. I had super heavy periods and would bleed through pads and tampons quickly- I kept asking to go to the bathroom and she kept ignoring me. Except that once she realized what happened, my god awful teacher decided to use me as a teaching lesson for the entire classroom. I had had my period since I was 9 but none of my friends knew because I was embarrassed. I’m 39 and can still feel the embarrassment of all the boys laughing at me.
天哪，那和我的故事一樣，也是同一個年級。我當時月經的量特別大，很快會流出護墊和棉條——我一直請假去廁所，她一直忽視我。除了有一次她意識到發生了什么，我那個可憎的老師決定拿我給整個教室上一課。我從9歲開始來月經，但沒有朋友知道這件事，因為我當時很尷尬。我今年39歲了，仍然能感到教室里的所有男孩嘲笑我的時候那種尷尬。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.minocquamortgage.com 轉載請注明出處
I spent 2 years in a private christian school where girls could not wear skirts or dresses unless it covered their whole legs all the way down to their feet. We were between 3 and 8 years old and that rule was meant to make sure boys wouldn't have any sexual temptation. This is not a joke.
我在一個私立的基督教學校讀過兩年的書，那里的女生只能穿蓋住整條腿直到腳面的裙子。我們都是3-8歲的孩子，而那條校規的用意是不對男孩造成任何性誘惑。這不是玩笑。
My school banned water bottles.
我的學校把水瓶給禁了。
我們學校突然開始了一種喝水的潮流，基本都是女孩子之間，于是沒過多久，每個人都會手里拿著一瓶大品牌的塑料純凈水瓶到處走。他們想要讓自己看起來注意健康，并且很酷。
但沒過多久，這就變成了炫耀誰最健康，最注意喝水的比賽。所以750毫升的瓶子就不夠用了。于是女生們開始往學校帶越來越大的水瓶和水杯，把別人比下去。最后她們開始帶五升的大塑料罐子在學校里到處走?？雌饋泶赖靡?。
到最后男生也加入了，他們開始往學校帶更大的容器。有個男生推了一輛行李手推車到學校，里面裝著一個20升的工業用儲水罐。
到此為止，校長被惡心夠了。我們是個高端，注重形象的學校，校服也很上檔次，他不太喜歡看著學生們拖著巨型水瓶子到處走，跟流浪漢似的。于是他把所有的水瓶都禁了，讓學生們去洗手間的水龍頭和其他飲水處喝水。
這很蠢，因為經常喝水本來是有利健康的。他本來可以把所有超過750毫升的水瓶給禁掉，可以讓我們在課間到處走的時候把水瓶放到背包里不到處顯擺。
the guy with the 20 L bottle sounds like a fun dude
那個推著20升水罐的哥們聽起來是個有趣的人。
'I'm more hydrated than you, loser.'
“我補水比你更厲害，loser?！?
有點怪，不過還行。
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"No body armor of any kind"-The fuck was we gonna get body armor? Most of us barley could afford to go to school. The fact that this was a rule also makes me wonder what the fuck happened to make them institute this.
“不允許身著任何護甲”——我們他媽上哪兒整護甲??？我們上學都快上不起了。這條竟然被寫成校規，我也想不出來究竟他媽發生了什么，讓他們把這個寫成校規。
Maybe a kid showed up in full medi style plate armor and it was really loud.
或許有個孩子穿著一整套中世紀板甲，叮里咣啷的很響。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.minocquamortgage.com 轉載請注明出處
No coloured bras. I went to an all-girls school and we wore uniforms and the top was a light colour and very see-through for some reason (so it was easy to tell if you had a pink bra on for example). The weird thing was it was always the male teachers who called students out for breaking this rule.... yikes
不許穿彩色的胸罩。我上的是女校，穿統一的校服，上裝是淺色并且由于某種原因很透的衣服（因此很容易看出你穿的是粉色的胸罩）。最怪的是那些因為學生違反這條校規把學生叫出來的老師都是男老師……噫。
I went to a high school for smart kids. My senior year, they instituted a rule to crack down on kids cutting class:
我上的是一所給聰明的孩子開的高中。高三那年，他們為了杜絕學生翹課頒布了這樣的規則：
假如你遲到45分鐘及以上（90分鐘大課），就算你缺席，否則算遲到。
遲到3次，算一次無理由曠課。
無理由曠課20次，這門課你就掛了。
于是我和我朋友算了一下，如果我們把上半截英語課翹了，只要在45分鐘內趕到，然后在這個學年之內無理由曠課19次的話，可以翹到哪一天。當然我們上的是一所給學霸開的學校，所以我們并沒有去吸毒或者抽煙，而是打網球。老師會問我們為什么總是渾身大汗地遲到，我們笑笑就過去了。
So you and a friend showed up to class together, late, and very sweaty. And when your teacher asked you just laughed? I'd bet $50 your teacher though you were fucking before class.
所以你和你的一個朋友同時出現在課堂門口，遲到了，并且渾身是汗。你老師問你們去干什么了，你們只是笑笑？我賭50塊，你老師會覺得你倆課前在打炮。
I'd bet $50 your teacher though you were fucking before class.
引用：“我賭50塊，你老師會覺得你倆課前在打炮?！?
我記得有一次我確定她腦子里想的就是這個，但這只是讓整件事變得更加好笑。
Teacher: "What were you doing all this time?!" Student 1: "stuff" Student 2: "I'm stuff"
老師：“你們去干什么了？！ ”
學生甲：“去搞事情”
學生乙：“我是事情”
School: makes overly complicated absentee rules
學校：制定過度復雜的翹課規則
學霸：你低估了我的實力
Went to a catholic private middle school. Mandatory uniform (tucked in white shirt, blue pants and black shoes) Guys had to keep their hair short "like men are supposed to" and any facial hair was not allowed. No hoodies, only the school's sweater (which you had to buy every year). Girls not allowed to wear pants, only skirts, no matter how cold it got. Zero tolerance for dyed hair or nails. No electronic devices AT ALL (They would take your earphones if seen, even on our breaks).
上的是一所天主教私立中學。強制穿制服（掖進腰帶的白襯衫，藍色長褲，黑鞋）。男生留短發“像男人的樣子”，并且不許留胡子。不許穿連帽衫，只許穿學校的毛衣（你得每年買一件）。女生不能穿褲子，只能穿裙子，不管多冷。對染發和美甲零容忍。不許任何電子設備（他們一發現會把你的耳機沒收，甚至是在課間）。
我發誓假如我有任何宗教信仰的話，那所學校絕對讓我以后不想與任何宗教機構產生任何關系。
No sniffing the markers. Then why do they smell great!?
不許聞馬克筆。那干嘛把馬克筆做得那么好聞??？！
Get a hour detention if you didn’t have a rubber, happened to me
沒帶橡皮的話留堂一小時。我干過。
In elementary, they banned running ENIRELY. No running on the playground either. They also banned all ball sports, and would take your ball if you took it in from home, and they would put it in the gym cupboard to be used during PE class (Physical Education) Keep in mind that these were 4-11 year olds,
小學的時候，他們徹底禁止跑動。操場上也不能跑。他們也禁止了所有的球類運動，會把你從家里帶來的球沒收，而且會把沒收的球放到體育館里，在體育課上用。記住，那都是4-11歲的孩子。
于是根本沒人在乎這項校規，有好多人都被“留堂”（我忘了我們管這個叫什么了），于是他們不得不放棄了規定，也沒發生什么后果。但是球類運動的那條校規呢？結果有個比我低一年的學弟帶了個特別出名的球形簽過名的足球，
學校把足球沒收了。我們知道了這件事是因為有個氣炸了的母親在秘書處大吼，說他們偷了價值至少1000美元的私人財產。他們把球還回去了，并且此后再也沒這么做過。誰會想到從小孩子那里偷東西是個壞主意呢？